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Finding Independence

Updated: Feb 8, 2021



One of my biggest fears is feeling alone. And I'll admit it. Most of the time, I'd rather work in a coffee shop full of people than lay in my pajamas at home watching TV. I am usually connected to someone via my phone (social media, email, web apps, you get the picture) and rarely do things alone.

This has changed over the past few years. In fact, I find myself actually enjoying going on a (short) run, stopping by the grocery store, watching TV in my jammies... all alone! I will say that I do still prefer not to do any of the above alone, and I don't really know how to explain why, but I have become "more okay" with the idea of being by myself. Just do it.

I share this because I think this revelation has a lot to do with growing up and maturity. I will forever be an extrovert, but every time I take another personality quiz, my results lean closer to the middle rather than the outlier E that was 10 years ago. In fact, all of my various qualities have started to gravitate toward the center. Does that mean I'm boring? No! I refuse to be boring.

Finding independence is so important to building resilience because sometimes the only one you can count on is yourself. Not because people don't love you or care about you, more because you might be the only one who can help you at times. So I am very glad that I've developed this openness to be alone, do things by myself and not get anxious about it. This is coming from someone who had her mom eat lunch with her at school every day up until the 5th grade. I've come a long way.

Has anyone else noticed a similar change in your growth? Or vice versa? Someone who always preferred to be alone but has developed a liking for group activities? Please do share!



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